A star in the sky

 
Little Belle passed away on Tuesday, April 25th. I still can’t write about it much since it’s too painful. I will copy the words I wrote on FB/IG about the moment I had to let my precious little girl go…

 
How could I say goodbye to my very special little girl who I loved more than anything…
I couldn’t.
I had to.
While she leaned on my chest, her head resting on that one familiar spot.
While I held her close to me, felt the warmth of her body, her heartbeat against my heart.
We both had to let go…

 
Irene, Little Belle’s mom

 
Today, I will write about something else, something that helped me a little while mourning. As you can imagine, I feel completely lost without Belle and I experience a deep intense pain. It is often unbearable, it is as if I can barely breathe and it feels like pieces of my heart are torn off, leaving a wound that can never heal.
In the first days after Little Belle her passing I knew I had to do something in order to get through this, to be able to hold on to life. Which maybe sounds dramatic but perhaps someday I will explain more about this.

 
Suddenly I knew what to do. On Thursday morning, Robert brought the little coffin home and it was just a rectangular box with a boring brown wood color. I wanted to make it better for my little girl, how strange it may sounds, she needed to have her last resting place in a beautiful coffin.
I started to paint an image that gradually formed more and more in my mind and I followed my heart that guided me. I am only used to oil paint, so it was strange to use acrylic paint, but that was the only option because of the drying time.

 
Here I started with painting. Robert made these pictures of me while I wasn’t aware of this, I was completely ‘in’ the painting with Belle…

 

 
Almost ready:

 

 
During painting, I felt connected with Little Belle, she was still close to me, and it kept my mind quiet. The moment I stopped, I started crying again. So, when it was ready…, well you can imagine I still keep myself ‘busy’. Of course, I also give space to all my emotions, they need to be felt.

 
Ready:

 

 
I think the ‘painting’ doesn’t need much explanation. Many friends of Little Belle know her so well that it will be very obvious why there is a heart around her name, why you can see tulips, the heath, the beach, the sea, the sunset… And who is the little star in the upper left corner? My beautiful warrior girl, forever shining ♥

 

 
Benji smelling the coffin:

 

 
And Tualek:

 

 
Surrounded by flowers, all gifts from Little Belle her friends…

 

 
I also painted the sides, so Belle will stay surrounded by flowers:

 

 

 

 
In the coffin, I placed her guardian angel charm, Little Belle her lei from Hawaii (a wreath of flowers symbolizing her aloha spirit of unconditional love), a piece of my hair (a part of me that stays with her) and a letter I wrote to her.

 

 
The next picture I have hidden, it’s a picture of Little Belle in her coffin, so only open it if you are able to see Belle this way.

My beautiful little angel…

 

 
On Tuesday, May 2, we gave Little Belle her last resting place in our garden…

Irene, Little Belle’s mom

12 comments

  • Lana

    Beautiful

  • Shelley

    My heart is with You. I wish I could have helped Her and You
    Thank You for sharing.☄

  • Lynette

    ❤🐶❤🐶❤🐶❤

  • Colette Tunney

    I am very sorry for your loss I hope your pain is slightly better. I adopted a dog at seven who lived to be 16 they were going to put her down and all that was wrong was Dermatology. I feel she was supposed to come to me and we had a terrific life together which she would not have had. I feel the same about Bell. What a wonderful wife you gave her Irene and you should be extremely proud of yourself. All your other dogs got to enjoy her as well and so everyone’s life received a bonus. It takes time to get past the lost and it did for me even though I had another dog. The positive was it makes me feel I could help other dogs older ones and Inspire others to do the same. It doesn’t matter if it’s one year or 5 it’s the quality. I was wondering how Bell was able to work with you after having blindness in both eyes if you were using about or just your voice and the sounds of her environment. Either way it was a terrific thing. You gave her even more time. Be very proud of yourself. And of her.! I work with developmental disabilities in the United States and sometimes I feel like children developmentally disabled people in adults who are elderly or throw away and our animals are too. This is throughout the world. While this may be true for some people I think the majority of us on Earth are really wonderful people and you and Belle and your family human and animal are an excellent example of this. I thank you for sharing her life with all of us.

  • Rose Ann Sabaka

    This really breaks my heart, I guess because all the fond memories of my fur babies come rushing back. Each one takes a little bit of our heart but we wouldn’t have it any other way. We never have enough time with them but someday we will see them again and whole.

    Two years ago I adopted a 14 yo terrier mix who was basically thrown away by her previous family. I love her to death and she fits in well with my colony of cats. She will always have a home here with us.

    Thank you for all you do to help make better lives for these members of your family.

  • June

    My heart grieves with you. Rest in peace sweet Little Belle, you will live on in so many hearts. Dear Irene, know that Little Belle is looking down on you with so much love and you will see her again one day. She is running free and her sight has been restored! She has no pain and happily awaits the day you shall be reunited! Until then she is playing with all her friends, both old and new!

  • Peggy O'Brien

    Absolutely beautiful. What a courageous little life. Thank you for being such a great mom to her and all your precious fur babies.

  • Diane Johnson

    My heart breaks for you dear Irene,rest assured you made a big difference in Belle’s life.She was lucky she found you and lived such a wonderful life with you and her fur family.Thank you for making her life so great!

  • EDITH

    I CANT STOP CRYING .YOU AND THIS DOG ,THE LAST YEARS OUT OF THE CAGE WAS HER HAPPY LIFE .SHE WAS FIGHTING TO THE END .WHAT A STORY AND BEAUTIFUL BEING .I READ YOUR STORIES AND ALWAYS CRY .I LOVE ANIMALS.EDITH

  • David McKenzie

    To learn of LIttle Belle passing away was a shock and for such a long time to have passed hurt even more, I know the pain when you lose a part of your heart, but know that she loved you as much as you love her , She was and always will be a inspiration to so many people .You gave her a wonderful life when you took her into your family . Be proud that you changed her life . she helped me look more deeply at the abandoned homeless and those dogs rescued from the puppy mills , I am so sorry that she has lefrt this earth but I know she will be looking down on all who loved her , so may I say .,Rest In Peace beautiful little Belle sleep safe in the arms of angels , God Bless you little girl .

  • David McKenzie

    Little Belle , now with the angels and a beautiful star shining down on you Irene and her little fur friends , Remember her for all the love she gave , sorry I keep writing but she made such an impact on me . God Bless you and God Bless little Belle , She will be remembered …

  • Dominique Mall

    What a wonderful
    Life you gave Little Belle
    And how much ❤️
    She will never be forgotten and will live forever in your heart in in the hearts of people you touched by your kindness

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